Finding Your Tribe

Possibly one of the scariest parts of moving to a new city, like I did in February, is the thought of having to find a whole new group of people to hang out with. I already knew a bunch of people up in Auckland, but I still wanted to make some new friends too. Well, part of me did.
Generally I’m one of those people who whines about having to socialise with strangers.
I like my friends, my little inner circle (not that being friends with me is at all like being in a cult, which “inner circle” certainly makes it sound like..) but the older I get the more I tend to stay in that bubble. New people can be scary and mean and weird. But they can also be nice and rad and fun. Ugh it’s such a lot of work dealing with people.

Let’s be honest, it can be really hard to find people who are on the same wavelength as you.
I’m super freaking opinionated and have a hard time keeping my mouth shut in certain situations (i.e. people making rape jokes, people making sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, biphobic, ageist, ableist or any other discriminatory comments). So yeah, it’s hard to find people who not only tolerate that, but also have the same fierce “oh hell no you did not just say that” kind of attitude.

I’m also very (maybe unhealthily) obsessed with all the animals – sloths, goats and pigs in particular – and being friends with me means putting up with me being on the verge of an emotional meltdown when I see a video or picture of an adorable animal doing something cute or awkward. Wow, that’s just going from one extreme to another isn’t it?

The point is, we all have our things and we want to surround ourselves with people who share those things. So first we hope we can find some rad like-minded people to hang out with.
And then, we actually have to put ourselves out there! WHAT. Meeting new people and getting to know them can be hella challenging. Most people I know would assume I’m an extrovert. When I was a teenager my parents were constantly saying what a social butterfly I was.
Back then, maybe I was more of an extrovert. But now? I’m an introvert through and through. People find that hard to believe, since I love standing up and talking to groups (I do this for work). But really, I’m quite introverted. I’m definitely more comfortable not just in small groups, but when I’m with my familiar people. And when I do need to hang out in big groups or do a lot of socialising, I always need some serious alone/quiet time afterwards to recover.
So meeting new people? Hard stuff!

Despite all of that, I knew I wanted to put myself out there when I moved to Auckland.
Being open to meeting new people and making new friends could be the difference between building myself a happy, comfortable life up here, or becoming a hermit (even more than I already am).

What an opportunity! I fully believe that life is so much better if you surround yourself with rad people who make life fun and happy and beautiful. You get to find and form your own tribe.
You choose who you hang with. I love the idea that we have the family we’re born into, and then we have our tribe. My tribe? Is filled with people from all walks of life, of different ages and genders, all of whom bring some magic and happiness into my life. It’s really only been in the last few years that I’ve learnt that we don’t have to hang out with/stay friends with people if we don’t want to. It might sound harsh, but if someone is a negative presence in my life, I don’t really want them in it! I want to surround myself with positive rad people who add to my life and make this whole journey happy and fun.

What kind of people do you surround yourself with? Have you made your own little tribe?

Till next time!

Lula xxx