The Trouble With Modern Dating

I got hooked on Aziz Ansari’s new Netflix series, Master of None – as in, I watched 4 episodes in 1 night. The third episode of this brilliant series highlighted the issue that basically everyone in the dating world is experiencing.

Dev (Aziz Ansari) has tickets to an awesome show, so he invites the hot waitress at his local bar to go along with him. She takes three days to reply that she can’t come, leaving him with 24 hours to find a date. He discusses this with his friends and coworkers and talks about how this happens way too often: you text back and forth, you make plans and then suddenly nothing. Nada. Zip. The texting ends and there’s no date, no coffee, no drinks.

What the hell?! Where did this disrespect for people’s time and feelings come from? As Aziz so aptly put it:

Why are people so rude? I’m a person, I’m not just a bubble in a phone. Let’s just be nice.”

I seriously don’t understand it. Nobody forced you to start this little flirtation/conversation in the first place so if you end up not being interested, don’t ghost it, just be up front. How hard would it be to say “Yo, I’m just not interested in dating you, and I don’t wanna waste your time?”. Or some variation of that. Yeah, it can feel bloody brutal to end things or reject someone. But I feel like it’s way more honest and nicer in the long run than ghosting.


{Urban Dictionary definition of ‘ghosting’}

When did it become okay to just blank someone who you were actively participating in the early stages of a little romance with? Why is it okay to just ditch the communication and bail on plans without a legitimate excuse and then disappear off the face of the earth because it’s “easier” than being honest about how you’re just not that into them? Guess what, dating isn’t easy. When people’s feelings are involved, you’ve gotta be real and honest.

Think about it. Imagine if your friends or family ghosted you because they just didn’t want to deal with you or they weren’t keen on your plans. You wouldn’t put up with it. Reverse it: would you do that to your friends? Fuck no! So why why why would you do it to someone that, at some stage, you were at least a little interested in dating? Even people you meet on Tinder are people with feelings.

This dating crap needs to change stat, or me and a whole bunch of people who are not into this attitude are gonna be starting a craft circle for singletons.

xxx Lula